The Management Regrets to Inform…

To: Visitors
From: Management

This is a notice to inform visitors that no accommodation will be made for inadequate web experiences due to browser incompatibilities or deficiencies. Sadly, the problem is on your end of the screen and there is simply nothing we can do to help you.

But take comfort—you can help yourself! Just five short minutes of your life and you'll be surfing the web in style in your own modern browser!

Any remaining energy should be channeled into the palm of one of your hands, which you should try to aim in a kind of graceful arcing path towards the middle of your forehead.